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The Doge 🔗
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Gene modification discovered to increase soy yields 1/3 🔗
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Hopefully it can be expanded to other crops. What a boon for humanity. Clever way to fix more nitrogen from the atmosphere.

Pregbalin: possible paralysis cure 🔗
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Lord, I hope so.

DOD's latest spending spree 🔗
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Outfitting everyone under the sun that's part of the empire as usual.

Mosul Rebellion thwarted 🔗
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Heh, guess their October surprise invasion just fizzled.

FIB does study on why terrorism happens, finds out the same thing the Pentagram did 🔗
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E.G. it's the imperialism. They'll promptly stick their heads in the sand about this, just like the pentagram did.

Cop bugs out eyes at pedestrian 🔗
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Aggravated walking

Venezuelan price controls lifted 🔗
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Finally, sanity prevails.

UPDATE: Maduro now has the power of the purse. Nothing good will come from this.

DOJ thinking hard about how to cover up cop killings 🔗
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Err, I mean investigate...

RoboCarpentry 🔗
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Gitmo detainee finally gets fistula repair 🔗
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Y'know after being sodomized with an implement being covered in battery acid, as they are wont to do over at the "battle lab".

Libya "Unity government" gets a coup 🔗
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That was quick. Dunno what they're fighting over since they have no real power in Libya.

Thai king croaks 🔗
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Long live...

Wikileaks: Donna Brazile in the tank for the DNC 🔗
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Like many other journos.

Clinton campaign manager mobbed up 🔗
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To the Russian mafia. No wonder they're screaming PUTIN PUTIN PUTIN to deflect from their own Russian connection.

Rafi Farber out with some A+ haterade on the army 🔗
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It hurt his family, because it is a false god.

Pentagram attacking Yemen directly now 🔗
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...Just kidding. They've never stopped droning folks over there. Only difference is they're droning houthis rather than Qaeda guys now.

WWIII alert: RAF ordered to shoot down Russian Jets over Syria 🔗
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Supposedly in self-defense, but we'll see how they can scream "STOP RESISTING" to make the "facts" fit the war narrative.

AAPL: Channel stuffing 🔗
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This new CEO of theirs is a chimp.

Rock climbing gripper 🔗
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This sounds handy.

As usual, kops lying about number of killings they do 🔗
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They are a gang, yanno. People get disappeared.

DEA: $50k to destroy 27 marijuana plants 🔗
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One assumes the remainder of the money was spent on hookers and blow.

Hillary: Drug Warrior 🔗
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Of course she opposes legalization. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, "liberals".

Missisippi has de-facto outlawed sodomy again 🔗
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Remember, no law can protect you from the opinions of the cops and politicians directly squatting on you.

Houston: Call 911 and get hung up on 🔗
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Dial 911 and DIE

Russians: still way too trusting of their government 🔗
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Much like the idiots here in the states.
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