Sadly, everything Soviets told us about communism turned out to be a lie. Even worse, everything they said about capitalism turned out to be the truth!

Kiev. A guy is stuck in traffic, as usual. Suddenly there’s a knock on the window, some government official in a suit.

– What do you want?
= You see, terrorists just took the Cabinet of Ministers hostage, and are threatening to douse them all in gasoline and light them on fire if we don’t give them a million dollars in the next hour. There is obviously no way to get it through legislature this quickly, so we decided to do a collection among the drivers here.
– So how much did others give already?
= So far, about twenty gallons and a dozen lighters.